April Kepner sighed heavily as she closed the door of the supply
closet and leaned against it, relieved by the fact that she was
finally alone, relatively far from all the voices and stares. In the
silence of the small room, she allowed herself to breathe. It was her
first day of work since her hospital had merged with Seattle Grace
Hospital, and while previously in the morning she had been excited
about meeting new people and showing her ability on the job she loved
the most, now she felt vulnerable in the gossip mill.
It was her own fault, that about everybody knew she and Alex had
history. 'Secret past', she had heard the nurses say. Had she been
able to hide her huge surprise when she saw him, had she held back
that embarrassing yelp, had she not dropped the books she was holding
nor yelled his name, they could have kept it hidden until they talked
and figured something out. Now, all April wanted was to stay in that
supply closet and never have to see Alex again.
Her
pager went off. Glancing at it, she read 'Conf. rm 4th
floor.Please.Alex'
She didn't want to face Alex. Not yet.
A thousand sharp chips were piercing her already pained heart.
x
Alex knew April wouldn't come immediately. He knew she needed her
time to take things in, and when she was ready she would look for
him.
So he was surprised when he heard the door open and close again
behind him. He forced himself to look up when the woman walked closer
to sit in the chair to the other side of the table.
But it wasn't April. It was Izzie.
Alex gave his wife an apologetic look.
“So...
you and that April Kepner. What's the deal? The nurses have been
saying pretty incredible things, but luckily for you I know better
than to believe what they say.”
“April
and I were a couple during our last three years of high school. She's
a year younger than me. I had to repeat my third year, she was asked
to tutor me. It just – I won't lie and say it wasn't serious, but
we never saw each other again after our senior year. She only yelled
my name because I was the last person she expected to see as a
surgeon. It wasn't exactly my plan, back then.” he smiled slightly,
but not too much. “The thing is, Iz, that if you're jealous there's
no need to be. I'll probably have to talk to April privately, so
don't get mad when you see me looking for her or vice versa. And the
nurses will keep talking about us, but it will die down and there's
really nothing to say.”
“Okay.”
Izzie reached out for his hand. Things had been rough for them
lately, they both needed more time to adjust to their new life. A
life in which she was cancer free, and they were married. But Izzie
trusted Alex, and she believed him when he said April was only his
high school naive girlfriend.
“What
about, once our shifts end, we order take-out and rent a few movies?”
Alex smiled at her brightly. “I would love it.”
x
Alex spent the rest of the day subtly checking on April. She seemed,
and probably was, on edge. He could see she was doing her best to
ignore the rumors that were already flying through the hospital, but
actually he found the theory of them having a secret child pretty
hilarious.
Though he tried not to get too close to her, Alex couldn't help but
notice how beautiful she still was. She had the same sweet features
of thirteen years before, but she certainly looked more mature, more
woman. And her hair... Alex had always loved her hair. He used to run
his fingers through it, it relaxed her.
“Alex,
I'm ready to go.” Izzie said from behind him.
“Sure.”
he hesitated for a split second. He really felt like he had to talk
to April as soon as possible. They couldn't work together if they
didn't talk first.
But Izzie was his wife, and it couldn't kill him to wait until the
next day. After all, Izzie was his present and future, and April only
his past.
He followed Izzie out of the hospital – it was obviously raining –
and they quickly got into the car. “What movie do you want to
watch?” he asked her.
“I
don't know... I think I feel like watching one of those sappy
comedies that don't really have a storyline.”
Alex sighed. “As you wish. But we're also getting an horror movie.
Now, we can watch it before so that the scariness goes away with the
sappy movie, or we can watch yours first.”
“Yeah,
so you fall asleep halfway through it and we don't watch your stupid
horror film.”
Alex frowned. “Point taken.” he conceded.
“And
we're getting thai.”
“Okay.”
“Alex,
why are you letting me win everything today?”
“Because
time with you is too precious to be spent fighting over movies and
food.”
“Oh.”
x
A bottle of red wine in one hand and a worn-out photograph in the
other, April collapsed on her uncomfortable armchair. It once
belonged to her parents, and it had witnessed a lot of moments
between her and Alex.
April put the photo down for a minute as she opened the bottle. She
felt drunkenly dizzy, and she hadn't start to drink yet.
She quietly stared at the picture in her hands. It hurt to see it,
but she knew that once out she couldn't put it away for at least a
couple of days.
Ignoring the glass on the small table, April closed her eyes and took
a big sip of wine.
x
With Izzie's arms around him and unable to put aside the blankets,
Alex felt incredibly hot. Being in a stupid trailer, he could hear
every single noise from outside, and that, added to the fact that
April was stuck in his mind, didn't allow him to fall asleep.
He didn't love April – no, it wasn't that – but the surprise and
the unresolved feelings were a lot to handle in a moment like that,
when his life was everything but stable.
Alex shut his eyes close, begging for the images in his mind to
vanish and the memories to please stop. Wishing to just fall asleep,
and wake up to find out April hadn't come back in his life. Not like
that.
x
Though between her and Alex there wasn't anything anymore, April felt
a wave of anger and jealousy raise in her chest when she finally
managed to see his wife. Dr. Isobel Stevens was beautiful, she
couldn't deny it. In fact, according to the hospital nurses, she paid
her med school bills modeling. Nonetheless, April felt a bitter taste
in her mouth thinking that Alex had moved on before she did. Their
break-up had been mutual and friendly, but April would never forget
the sharp pain that invested her at times, when she was expecting it
the less.
April took a big breath of hair and exhaled as her pager went off. At
least there was work distracting her, because otherwise she was sure
supply closets and the hospital roof would become her favorite places
to be.
Not much later, her new patient was stable and ready to be finally
taken to the ICU. She got in an elevator, who was strangely empty.
April sighed. She was enjoying the silence. All she wanted to do now
was walk out of that hospital and find a nice place to eat, alone.
But someone had other plans.
The
elevator stopped, the doors opened, and Alex walked in. Alex.
He cleared his throat, ready to avoid eye contact.
April
bit her lip, closing her eyes for a moment. So
many memories.
All of a sudden April heard Alex push a button, and the elevator
stopped abruptly. She held her breath, surprised.
“Sorry.
I can't focus on work.”
She
finally raised her eyes to really
look at him. “Yeah. I know. Neither can I.”
“What
should we do?”
For a moment April felt very frustrated. Why was he asking her? She
didn't know! But, used to always appear sure of herself, the young
woman composed herself quickly. “I don't want them to know.”
“I'd
rather not let them know everything about us either. I'm married. I
told Izzie about us, that we were together for about three years and
then decided to break up. I told her we're over. I don't want rumors
to get in the way.”
April nodded. “I agree. As long as your wife doesn't believe all
the incredible things they're saying, we should be good. Usually
these things die down by themselves. In a few weeks luckily no one
will remember we used to be a couple.”
“It's
always like this. People talk a lot around here. You better get used
to it, because they make up stories as soon as they think something
is going on. We were together in high school and there's nothing more
to say, but they'll do their best to say something anyway. So hold
on, April. As you said they'll stop, but don't be surprised by how
they look at you or whisper when they see you. It's normal.” Alex
snorted.
“I'm
happy you found someone, Alex. This Izzie seems a nice person.”
“She's
amazing.” Alex smiled when she mentioned Izzie. “But so are you.
It's nice to see you. To have you back.”
“Same
here.” April was able to choke out before he pulled the button and
the elevator moved.
